An Explanation

So what on earth could keep the greatest blogger in Hixson, TN from updating for this long? Well, in case you haven't heard, I've been recovering from the tongue-lashing Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy gave me over my Chris Benoit article.

Speaking of college football coaching fashion, am I the only one who absolutely hates the Nike shirts being worn by every single college football coach this year? Is this Nazi Germany? Why do they all have to look exactly alike? And what is up with that shoulder design? It looks especially bad from the high camera angle that catches the coach a good 10 times a game. Are there shoulder pads under there? Is it some type of Opus Dei symbol I don't understand? Seriously, between the Vols and these shirts, the college football season has basically been ruined for me.

The real story of my non-blogging is that things have gone a little nutty in the Carpenter world over the past few days. It all started Wednesday night when I came home from the driving range to find an inch of water in our downstairs bathroom. My wife was showering upstairs and, for some reason, it was causing a flood down below. We called a plumber to check things out, figuring there might be a problem with our sewer connection.

It turns out there was not a problem with our sewer connection because we do not have a sewer connection. Our lease says we have one. The seller told us we have one. The plumber, however, could not find one. He only found connection to a septic tank, the very septic tank that we drained and filled with gravel one month ago. That's right - we filled the septic tank we were using with gravel.

So it is Thursday afternoon and we cannot use our water at all. Problem #1. Problem #2 is all mine - Martha is leaving for the weekend to coach swimming at a meet in Tallahassee. I'm on solo Abby duty with no water. Sounds tough, right? I was ready to step up my parental game and come through in the clutch, but then Problem #3 arose - my Friday baby-sitter cancelled. Abby is now coming to school with me, so not only am I SuperDad, but also SuperTeacher. Unfortunately, I also needed to be SuperDoctor because Abby came down with a fever of 103 (Problem #4).

To make a short story even longer, I stayed home with Abby on Friday, then moved our stuff into my dad's apartment for the weekend so we could, you know, actually flush a toilet. Nothing makes a sick baby feel better than not having her mom and being in a strange new place. Problem #5 was that my dad's apartment isn't wireless, so there was no way to get my blog on as I watched football and occasionally checked on my ailing child. We'll skip Problems #6 & #7 (too personal), but Problems #8-10 all have to do with how far behind I have gotten at school with tests coming this week and Parents' Day on Friday.

Rest assured, my priorities are back in order (1. God 2. Family 3. Blogging) and I will not leave you this long ever again. Our house should be hooked up to sewer by the end of the day (paid for by the previous owner), Abby's fever is down, Martha is back in town and I've decided to turn history class into a study hall for the foreseeable future.

Thanks for everyone's concern. In the words of George Costanza, I'm back, baby!