Why No Love For Wade Phillips?

If coaches are going to be ripped and fired for failure, they sure ought to get some credit for success. The best team in the NFC gets tons of publicity (Romo, T.O.), but none of it is directed at its coach.

Let me be the first to say it - Wade Phillips is doing as good of a job as any coach in the NFL this year.

I recently heard a few national commentators debating who should be NFL Coach of the Year and Wade Phillips name was never mentioned. Mike McCarthy, Bill Belichick, Romeo Crennel...but not Wade Phillips?

After watching the immensely talented Cowboys play slow, confused and unmotivated football under the legendary Bill Parcells, Wade Phillips has found the right balance between freedom and order to allow these Pokes to excel. Dallas has been absolutely terrific this season - scoring points at will and actually stopping people on defense from time to time.

Forget for a second that Wade Phillips is the coach. If I told you that the Dallas Cowboys were 11-1, that Terrell Owens was having an all-world season without being a distraction or cancer, that Tony Romo had emerged in his second season as a starter into a Top 5 quarterback, that DeMarcus Ware and Greg Ellis each have 10 sacks, that the Pokes have 1,000 yards more offense than their opponents, twice as many quarterback sacks, 20 more touchdowns, and a +7 turnover margin for the season, wouldn't you expect the coach of the NFL's signature franchise to be getting a sniff of recognition?

So why isn't Wade Phillips? When the Cowboys are discussed this season, the order of priority is Owens, Romo, Jerry Jones, Barber, Ware, Crayton, Newman, Tank Johnson, Roy Williams, then maybe Phillips? Wait, I forgot right guard Leonard Davis. Seriously, Bill Parcells still gets more attention in Big D than Wade Phillips.

It is time for that to stop. He may not be flashy. His hiring did not exactly thrill the fanbase. But the proof, my friends, is in the pudding. 11-1. The only loss is to the undefeated Patriots. This season, the Cowboys shut down Adrian Peterson, knocked out Brett Favre and totally confused Eli Manning. Okay, that last one isn't especially impressive, but the overall product has been. The Cowboys are having a historic season - one not matched by Tom Landry, Jimmy Johnson or Bill Parcells - and Wade Phillips ought to get much of the credit.

I know, I know - the Cowboys are loaded with talent and Phillips is basically just standing there watching it. Really? There isn't a difference between the way this team plays vs. last year's team? The offense is explosive - last year it was plodding. The defense gets after people - last year it waited, reacted and gave up points. The team this year seems to be enjoying football - last year it seemed like Sunday was an unenjoyable occupation.

What is the difference between this year and last year? Wade Phillips. Jason Garrett deserves some recognition as well, but it starts with the head coach. If the Cowboys were 6-6 right now with Romo struggling, T.O. whining, and the defense stinking, Phillips would be burned in effigy in Dallas.

Instead, the Cowboys are 11-1, already in the playoffs and the favorites to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. Wade Phillips ought to be given the credit he deserves for the job he has done this year.

Defining Moment for Erik Ainge

Saturday afternoon in The Georgia Dome, the LSU Tigers and Tennessee Vols will battle to represent the SEC in the Bowl Championship Series. Much of the misguided focus of the game has been upon Les Miles and his potential Baton Rogue exit for his alma mater in Ann Arbor.

The real story, however, is about the opposing quarterback Erik Ainge. It will be his final SEC game as a Tennessee Vol - his final chance to cement his legacy as one of the great Tennessee quarterbacks. Win? Ainge enters the conversation beside Peyton, Tee Martin, Andy Kelly, Heath Shuler and Condredge Holloway. Lose? Ainge is one of the great unfilled potential stories in UT history.

From the moment Ainge committed to the Vols, the promise of this 6'6 kid with a cannon arm had Tennessee fans thinking about the next Peyton Manning. Of course, there was also the chance of becoming the next Casey Clausen. Like Ainge, Clausen came to Knoxville as a highly-touted prospect and sure-fire NFL 1st-rounder. Clausen never progressed from the time he came to UT, though he did lead the Vols to some great victories (two wins in the Swamp, no less) and was within a game of playing for the National Championship in 2003.

Ainge's legacy in Knoxville is difficult to determine. On one hand, he seemed to be handed the reigns to the team in 2005 despite being out-played by Rick Clausen (Casey's brother), made some of the worst decisions ever seen by a Vol quarterback (the interception from his own endzone against LSU will forever haunt his legacy), never beat Florida as a starter and never won an SEC championship. He is, somewhat rightfully, held accountable for the 5-6 2005.

On the other hand, Ainge's career has blossomed over the last two seasons under David Cutcliffe. It is fairly reasonable to suggest that he floundered under former offensive coordinator Randy Sanders (who has blown my mind by being so imaginative and effective at Kentucky) the same way Tee Martin (post-Cutcliffe) and Clausen both floundered. Injuries have dogged him as well - he missed part of his freshman season after an injury versus Notre Dame and hurt his neck at LSU the next year.

It looked like his senior season would be more of the same after a meniscus injury in the off-season. Instead, he has had a sensational senior season without any fanfare whatsoever - 27 TDs, 8 INTs, just under 3,000 yards passing - with no experienced receivers, an inconsistent running game and a pinky finger on his throwing hand that is apparently bent in three different ways after a botched hand-off leading up the California game.

One of the biggest knocks on Ainge is his lack of big wins, specifically against Florida. His signature performances are beating California last season, crushing Georgia earlier this year and the Kentucky game last Saturday.

A win on Saturday could forever change the way Vols fans view Erik Ainge. In one afternoon, he could become an SEC champion and a BCS bowl quarterback. He could elevate his standing in Rocky Top lore or forever be saddled with the ugly "unrealized potential" label.

Forget the Les Miles storyline - the one to watch on Saturday is the defining moment of a senior's college football career.

The Best Football Strategy I Have Never Seen

I must admit that I heard this idea on local sports radio today, so this is not an original idea. It is, however, one I have never seen attempted at the end of a football game.

Here is the scenario (which actually played out at the end of the Tennessee-Kentucky game last Saturday night) - an offensive team is down 3 points with the ball and enough time to run one offensive play before trying a field goal.

Here is the strategy - the defense puts 13 players on the field and tackles every receiver as soon as the ball is snapped.

Why? The penalties will move the ball closer to the goal (though only one can be enforced) and the game cannot end with a defensive penalty. What good does this do?

Here you go - you have now forced the opposing coach to kick the field goal and go to overtime. Even with the yardage, the coach is rarely going to risk losing the game when a field goal forces overtime. If he tries to run another offensive play, the clock might expire (since time ran off the clock during the penalized play). You have forced his hand - he will have to kick the field goal for the tie.

Let's go back to the UT/UK game. Kentucky had 8 seconds (which, by the way, is an excellent Luke Perry movie) to run one quick play from the two-yard line before having to attempt a field goal. What if the Vols had put 13 guys out there to defend it and tackled everyone? The penalty would be half the distance to the goal, so now it is on the one-yard line. Is Rich Brooks going to try another play from the one or settle for the field goal?

With the exception of a few coaches, most are going to take overtime in that situation. Fulmer could have forced Brooks' hand by purposefully committing a penalty to prevent a score on that last offensive play. It is similar to fouling in basketball before a three-point attempt and forcing the team to make a free throw, miss the next, rebound it and score it to tie.

There is not much honor in bending/cheating the rules this way, but wins are wins.

Is there a problem with this strategy I'm missing?

Vols Are Going to Atlanta

It has been about 45 minutes since the Vols sacked Andre Woodson on Kentucky's two-point conversion attempt and my heart has finally slowed to the point that I can think and write coherently.

Cruising along at 31-14, it looked like Tennessee was going to celebrate its way through the 2nd half as it clinched the SEC East title. At that point, the Vols took their foot off the gas and the Wildcats put theirs on it as the Kentucky nearly won the game in regulation. Let's recap the wildness that was this afternoon in Lexington:

* The Vols came out with beautiful play to open the game, hitting running back Arian Foster for a 65-yard touchdown. It was all Vols from there as they dominated the first half and went into the locker room up 24-7.

* Tennessee has multiple chances to finish off Kentucky, but simply cannot catch the football. Lucas Taylor on 4th down. Arian Foster on 3rd down. Austin Rogers on 3rd down. Eric Berry and Brent Vinson for interceptions. The Vols catch it, they win easily.

* Kentucky continued to try to run the ball despite the Vols inability to stop the pass. Tennessee's defense has suffered from two problems all year long - no pass rush and a young secondary that gives up big plays. Kentucky's strategy with one of the best quarterbacks in the country? Run. Once the Wildcats let Woodson loose in the 2nd half, the ball game swung to the boys in blue.

* Gotta love playing at home - after watching two seconds run off the clock to end the Ole Miss/Mississippi State game in Starkville, the Kentucky clock operator was quick on the trigger after Woodson nearly allowed the clock to run out on his last chance to win the game in regulation. With one second left, Kentucky tied the game with a field goal.

* It was clear that Tennessee's defense was exhausted as it let Kentucky score on two plays to start the overtime. I thought Fulmer might thumb his nose at strategy and put his offense on the field first just to give his defense a rest. He didn't and the defense had nothing in the tank. It looked like UK's kicker might have missed the extra point - was I the only one who thought so?

* Freshman Gerald Jones, with a perfectly clean jersey from so little game action, made a terrific catch (then another great play in a later OT period) for the saving touchdown, sending this baby into OT #2.

* Erik Ainge made an awful decision, forcing a pass into good coverage and getting picked off to set up Kentucky with a golden chance to win the game. Fortunately for the Vols, the Wildcats returned to their ground game to set up a 35-yarder that was BLOCKED!

* Weird moment here - The Vols Eric Berry was returning the blocked kick for a score that would have won the game when he was tackled by his face mask. The call? Nothing. Apparently there are no penalties when this happens. The flags were thrown, but the call was disregarded because of the change of possession in overtime. Weird.

* Overtime # 3 - Kentucky scores, but fails to convert its mandatory two-point conversion. Tennessee answers, but also fails to convert (with the least imaginative call possible - a lame run to the near-side that never had a chance).

* Overtime #4 - Are you kidding me? The Vols start from the 40 after a lame unsportsmanlike conduct call after Foster tossed the ball in frustration after failing to convert the previous two-point conversion (the referees were shaky throughout this one...), but hit a big play to Quinton Hancock (who has, up until today, earned a scholarship this year by dropping passes) for a touchdown. The Vols converted their two-point try to take an eight point lead.

* Kentucky, of course, answers - this time with a freshman sprinter at tailback who looked like Bo Jackson's Tecmo Bowl runner compared to the exhausted Vols D. Where was this guy all game? The two-point conversion, however, FAILED after Woodson was indecisive with the ball and got sacked from behind to end the game.

What does it all mean now? The Vols are heading to Atlanta to meet the suddenly deflated LSU Tigers. Tennessee will have revenge on its mind from last year's tough loss at home to the Bayou Bengals and from the 2001 SEC Championship Game when LSU spoiled Tennessee's chance to play for the National Championship in the Rose Bowl.

It also means the vultures can leave Knoxville as Phil Fulmer's job is safe and sound. Next week could also solidify the career of Erik Ainge who has frustrated Vols fans for four years with unrealized promise. For a team that started 1-2, it could even mean a BCS bowl. Crazy.

With the way things have gone this year, it wouldn't shock me if the Vols somehow ended up playing for the National Championship before it is all said and done. For now, however, it is enough just to enjoy another victory over Kentucky and another SEC East championship.

Karma & Coaching - Nebraska and Mississippi Get What They Deserve

The grass isn't always greener, is it?

"Fire the coach" is EveryFan's instant solution for whatever ails his favorite team. There is always a team out there getting more out of its talent, running a more exciting, innovative offense or being more aggressive defensively. Why can't our coach be more like that?

In the rush for greener pastures and instant gratification, fans and A.D.s have developed a trigger finger with coaches. It doesn't matter if you are a living legend like Joe Paterno or Bobby Bowden, a national champion like Lloyd Carr or Philip Fulmer or even if you are still building a program like Charlie Weis or Greg Robinson.

But sometimes, those greener pastures are not quite as lush and bountiful as once thought. Just ask Nebraska and Ole Miss.

Nebraska dumped Frank Solich after the 2003 season (one in which he won nine games) because Solich had been unable to recapture the Tom Osbourne magic of the early 1990s. All Solich had done was go 58-19, play in six consecutive bowl games, finished in the Top 10 three times, won Big XII Coach of the Year twice and even played for a national championship in 2001 (remember that one, Oregon)? It might sound like an impressive resume, but it was not impressive enough for Cornhusker fans and A.D. Steve Pederson, who canned Solich and replaced him with former Super Bowl coach Bill Callahan.

Callahan's time in Nebraska has been, to say the least, shaky. He dumped the patented Nebraska ground game for the West Coast offense and got rid of the stingy Cornhusker defense for one that gives up 50+ points every Saturday. There have been no national championships, no Top 10 finishes and no Big XII titles. The vultures are gathering in Lincoln for Callahan's head after an embarrassing 2007 season.

Whatever vultures are not in Nebraska are south, flying over Ed Orgeron's head in Oxford, MS. Orgeron's fate might have been sealed with yesterday's Egg Bowl loss to Mississippi State (a game they led and dominated until the final two minutes), though the lack of SEC wins this season, the 10-25 record over three years, the accusations of trying to recruit Tulane football players after Hurricane Katrina, the juggling of quarterbacks and the lack of bowl appearances all added to his increasingly hot seat.

Orgeron was brought in from Southern Cal to take Ole Miss to the next level after the absurd firing of David Cutcliffe. All Ole Miss had done under Cutcliffe was produce a #1 overall draft pick in Eli Manning, a SEC West title, a Cotton Bowl berth and five straight winning seasons. One bad year and a refusal to fire his assistant coaches led to Cutcliffe's canning and Orgeron's hiring in Oxford.

Oh, those greener pastures...

The Hindus and Buddhists believe in the concept of karma, a pretty simple idea that what goes around, comes around. For Nebraska and Ole Miss, karma is a bitch.

Firing a successful coach in the hopes of finding something better is a risky proposition. It can work (ask Gator & Buckeye fans), but more often than not the head coach turns out not to be the real problem. In the cases of Nebraska and Ole Miss, the reality was that each school had really good football coaches, exaggerated expectations and wandering eyes. Each school fired coaches for no good reason and each school is getting what it deserves. What goes around, comes around.

With the likely firing of both coaches, each school will now have to start from scratch to try to get back to where they were under their previous coaches. Hopefully the lessons of looking for greener pastures have been learned in Lincoln and Oxford, but fans in Knoxville, Little Rock, Ann Arbor, Happy Valley and Clemson do not seem to be taking note.

These lessons do not just apply to college football either - just ask the San Diego Chargers.

Things I'm Thankful For (#1 is Sarcastic Sports Lists)

Somebody is going to write one this week, so it might as well be me.

1 - Sarcastic sports lists (told ya)

2 - Getting to watch the Detroit Lions every Thanksgiving

3 - The sweet sounds of Billy Packer

4 - Strong female role models for my daughter like Marion Jones, Pokie Chatman and Amanda Beard

5 - The fundamental basketball being played in AAU tournaments across the country

6 - The B.C.S. - tournaments decide nothing

7 - ESPN's restraint in covering the Joe Torre saga

8 - The continued crackdown on touchdown dances - Footloose, people

9 - Skip Bayless

10 - The Atlanta Hawks' new colors

11 - The insights of Emmitt Smith

12 - The rising popularity of professional boxing

13 - Colin Cowherd

14 - Nick Saban's loyalty

15 - Nick Saban's integrity

16 - Nick Saban's ability to dominate teams like Louisiana-Monroe

17 - Nick Saban's ability to beat Tennessee...damn, went too far with this one

18 - Reminders that instant replay evidence must be conclusive - I always forget that

19 - Running a patient, efficient offense (pick your sport - it works for all of them)

20 - WNBA Action

21 - Click Clack

22 - Male halftime dancers

23 - Leadership examples like Bill Belichick and Kelvin Sampson

24 - The new Nike basketball uniforms - big shorts + tight jerseys = awesome look

25 - David Beckham's tremendously successful American soccer experience - lived up to the hype!

26 - Bowling on ESPN Classics

27 - The career path of Michelle Wie

28 - Buying my father-in-law tickets for World Series Game 5...

29 - The steady state of my golf game

30 - Phil Fulmer's refusal to hire a special teams coach - it hasn't hurt the Vols yet

31 - Reminders that the clock stops on a first down in college football - forget that one, too

32 - Fewer highlights and more analysis on Sportscenter - FINALLY!

33 - Tim McCarver

34 - That "Waiting All Week For Sunday Night" song - so true

35 - Buying a Jason Kendall Oakland A's t-shirt ONE DAY before he was traded to the Cubs - can you say collector's item?

36 - Who's Now tournament

37 - Reminders that you need two feet in-bounds in the NFL, but only one in college - so confusing!

38 - One word - NASCAR

39 - Using the Mastercard commerical as the basis for a sports sign

40 - Beating other writers to an over-used article concept - priceless!

Dores/Vols

I didn't see it or hear it as I was visiting friends in Houston, but I am not remotely surprised. First, Vanderbilt always gives UT fits. It is their Super Bowl and means next to nothing to the Vols. Second, this Tennessee team can beat LSU and can lose to Louisiana-Monroe (hehe - Saban...). There is no telling whether the Vols will be great or awful. I still haven't decided if we are over-achieving or under-achieving. Seriously - which one?

Here is what I know - we are one win away from Atlanta. Kentucky suddenly looks very vulnerable and really has little to play for next week other than pride. I will be surprised if Tennessee doesn't play well in Lexington and pound UK. Everybody is worried about Woodson and so am I, but I imagine Cutcliffe will get back to running the ball (weird play-calling on Saturday) and the Vols will eat up the clock and own the line of scrimmage against the Kats.

Random thought - how little do the Vols miss LaMarcus Coker? I liked Coker, but between Foster, Hardesty and Greer and now Rogan returning kicks, it is pretty much addition by subtraction. I thought we would take a big hit without him - what do I know?

Upon Further Review - What I Don't Understand About Instant Replay

Instant replay was supposed to eliminate human error from deciding NFL games. The problem, from Mike Renfro's non-catch for the Oilers in the 1979 AFC Championship game to Vinny Testaverde's TD sneak against the Seahawks in 1998, was that referee error was costing coaches, players, and franchises games & championships.

The answer - instant replay.

It does slow down the game and it has taken a while to tweak the system to one that seems to work, but overall coaches, players and fans seem to favor using superior technology to get the calls correct.

There is, however, one glaring problem left with the instant replay system: what can and cannot be reviewed. You can review whether a receiver's feet were in-bounds, but not whether he was interfered with while making the catch. You can review if the ball crossed the goalline, but not if the offense used illegal motion to get it there. You can review whether a ball was fumbled, but not if the player's face mask was pulled to cause it.

I do not understand why. As football fans, we can all tell from replays whether or not there was actually pass interference or holding. Why can't those calls be challenged just like possession, fumbles and yardage spots? Why can't judgment calls be reviewed just like everything else?

I think the problem is that word - judgment. You can't review a 'judgment' call. Well, there are not really any 'judgment' calls, are there? The judgment is whether to throw the flag, but the play itself either broke or did not break a rule. There is a definition of pass interference - it is the judgment of the official about whether to call it, but there is not judgment about whether the rule was broken.

Here is hoping that yesterday's Browns/Ravens game will be the tipping point for instant replay change. Phil Dawson's kick to send the Browns into overtime yesterday was nearly not allowed because the play was not eligible for review. Why? Why can't everything be reviewed?

The main concern, I believe, is the timing of the game. We don't want every single play reviewed, right? Right. Here is the solution: keep the current system of challenges and timeouts. Keep the red flags. All the NFL, and even college football, needs to do is extend what can be challenged to EVERYTHING. Coaches - you can challenge anything you want. You only get two (three if you get both of those correct), so use them wisely.

Why wouldn't that work? The call that kills me in NFL football is pass interference. It can be a 50-yard penalty, but it cannot be challenged? Why can't a coach ask to have that play looked at one more time? We can all tell from our television replay whether or not there was actually interference. Review it! It cannot be easy for an official who is sprinting to keep up with a receiver and cornerback as they race toward the endzone and determine whether or not there has been any pass interference. Solution: use replay.

Holding is another call that ought to be replayed. How many touchdowns are called back by phantom holding calls? Solution: use replay.

Seven men on the line of scrimmage? Solution: use replay.

Coaches are not stupid - they are not going to risk timeouts on stupid things like a 1st & 10 holding call. But they will risk them to put a touchdown back on the board or prevent a 50-yard phony pass interference call or go to overtime with a field goal that was incorrectly ruled to be no good.

Upon further review, it is time to expand instant replay's ability to look at every single thing that happens on the football field.

Coach Talk - The Memphis Tigers

The Memphis Tigers bring their explosive offense to Madison Square Garden tonight against Jeff Capel's Oklahoma Sooners. I know, I know - you want to watch Derrick Rose and Joey Dorsey. If you want to get a little deeper into the game, here is what to watch for from Coach Calipari's offense.

According to Cal, he has basically combined the Drive & Kick schemes popularized by Vance Wahlberg (now at Pepperdine) with basic Princeton offense principles. Don't be fooled - this isn't a bunch of eggheads cutting backdoor. Memphis has one of the most athletic teams in the country & uses floor spacing and backdoor cuts to put maximum pressure on the defense.

Wahlberg, who met with Calipari a few years ago and sold him on this offense, once described his offensive philosophy as "attack, attack, skip, attack." The key word - attack.

Memphis will try to constantly attack Oklahoma's defense, especially off the dribble. The basic offensive alignment is one post, two wings in the corners (to space the floor - they will work up from the corner to the wing to get the ball), a point guard and a trailing post who will take the opposite side of the ball. The floor spacing is designed to put each defender on an island, creating a bunch of 1 on 1 situations.

The first option is for the point guard to get a lay-up. Simple, huh? If Rose can get into the paint, he will look to finish, dish to Dorsey on the block, kick it outside for the three (thus the Drive & Kick aspect) or you might even see him throw the ball off the glass to the other side of the basket to Dorsey. It might look like a bad lay-up, but it is really a "glass pass".

If Rose cannot get a lay-up, there are several options for what will happen next. He might run a dribble hand-off with a wing. He might drive at someone closely guarded to set up the Princeton backdoor. He might pass it to the wing and then run right in front of that man - called a blur screen (which isn't actually a screen - it is simply running in front of the defender). Whatever happens, the next option is basically the same as the first one - attack off the dribble to put pressure on the defense.

Here is what you won't see tonight from Memphis - screens. Crazy, huh? There are no screens in Coach Cal's system. But how do you get open? This is where Calipari utilizes the Princeton backdoor principles. If the defense overplays to deny the ball - backdoor. If the defense sags - pass and attack him off the dribble.

Another thing you won't see much - post-ups. Dorsey will not spend much, if any, time battling on the block to get a post-feed. Instead, he will usually play just off the block, forcing his defender to be out of the paint and offering more spacing to get to the basket.

What Memphis really wants to do when it is running its basic offense is drive, kick, drive, kick, drive, lay-up or 3-pointer. Coach Cal does not want mid-range shots - he is looking for lay-ups, threes or, better yet, fouls. Memphis will get into the bonus early in the halves, shooting lots of easy free throws and racking up points.

Why? Because it is hard to guard the ball. Referees call action on the ball much tighter than away from it. At some point, Oklahoma will have to put a hand on Rose or Douglas-Roberts and it will be a foul. Remember this - possessions that end with free throws are the highest scoring possessions in basketball. Coach Cal knows this.

The problem with this offense - if you can guard the ball, you can give this offensive style fits. UCLA shut down Memphis' potent offense in the Elite Eight two years ago. Memphis struggled to get to the paint and then struggled to get open looks.

The offense thrives on freedom, but freedom has its problems. You will see some bad shots, some careless possessions and a fair share of turnovers from the Tigers. Calipari has resigned himself to some of these, but it would drive the Bobby Knights and Gary Williams of the world crazy.

What about a zone? Good luck - Memphis will drive into the paint, then kick it out to its numerous shooters. The best idea might be to play a sagging man in the hopes of keeping the Memphis guards out of the paint and take your chances with the Tigers' shooters. You can also try to get gimmicky with a 1-3-1 or trapping zone to throw off the Tigers' rhythm.

This is a high-scoring, fast-paced offensive system. It isn't fun to guard and isn't easy to stop. Frankly, it is one of the most innovative concepts in basketball today.

From time to time this year, I'll put on my coaching cap and go a little deeper into the game's X's and O's. I hope this helps you enjoy the game tonight.

Coach C

Ball of Love - The Results

Last week, I chronicled my need for a new NBA team to follow now that I'm living in the NBA abyss of Chattanooga, TN. Inspired by Bret Michaels, I looked for love. I put my heart out there, made myself vulnerable and learned a little bit about life and love.

Okay, not really.

I did, however, go through the motions of breaking down the teams, fans, uniforms, coaches and my own internal tugs in order to pick my new favorite NBA team. The results are, to say the least, underwhelming.

But don't stop reading! Indulge me.

Last time, I narrowed things down to the following eight teams:

Atlanta Hawks
Boston Celtics
Chicago Bulls
Detroit Pistons
Golden State Warriors
Houston Rockets
Memphis Grizzlies
Phoenix Suns

If I'm going to jump onto a bandwagon, it isn't going to be one that is falling off a cliff. Golden State & Chicago - slow starts and the lack of geographic loyalty have doomed thee. You are eliminated.

Down to six - the anticipation is killing you, isn't it? You could scroll down and find the results...tempting, huh? I'm busting out the big guns to keep you from doing that - bad jokes.

What do Tracy McGrady and Michael Spinks have in common?

Can't make it out of the first round.

Another elimination - Boston Celtics. If I'm going to jump onto a bandwagon, it has to have some room for me. This one doesn't. Too much, too soon. Plus, I have never forgiven the Celtics for leaving the Boston Garden. I know the economics and such of it, but the Fleet Center or whatever corporation controls the name today is a lame building. Finally, my imaginary feud with Bill Simmons prevents me from sharing the same team with him. Boston - out.

Bad joke #2: What is black and white and bores the hell out of me?

The San Antonio Spurs.

Detriot - gone. I usually pull for Detriot because I like a bunch of their players, but they are not going to be my favorite team. They are like a chicken sandwich - I'll usually happily eat it, but I never crave it. The Pistons ain't firing for me.

Down to four. The Final Four. The Fantastic Four. The Four Horsemen. 4.

Houston, we have a problem and it is that you are not my favorite team. Like the Pistons, I'll pull for them in most cases, but with no passion. T-Mac is fun to watch at times, but his back isn't going to hold up much longer and Yao is the most frustrating player to watch in the league. GET A REBOUND! I already miss Jeff Van Gundy (though he is a damn fine color man on TV) and am morally against rooting for Bonzi Wells. Houston, goodbye.

Atlanta, Memphis & Phoenix - one of these teams is not like the other...

Here is my Phoenix dilemma - do I actually like them or do I just like Steve Nash? What happens if he leaves? I cannot get excited about Amare and really can't get excited about Shawn "Me" Marion. Marrying the Suns is like marrying a woman because of her breasts - they look great now, but someday they will sag and wrinkle. Will I still love her when the boobs aren't so luscious? I don't think so - Phoenix will be my team for the moment, but not the long haul.

Atlanta and Memphis - what have I done? Can we start over? How did I end up with these two skanks? Atlanta is perpetually awful and Memphis might be moving soon. You know, this really is like one of those finding-love-elimination-shows because you know the whole time that nobody is actually finding love. I don't think that I have found love either. I'm stuck with one team that has no personality and one team that has no stability.

To hell with it - I'm throwing the biggest curveball since Flavor Flav brought New York back in Season Two. Nash! Get your white Canadian butt back here - you and the Phoenix Suns are my team! The fast-paced, innovative style! The complete lack of defense! The angry coach! The Brazilian Blur! The French...Diaw! Tom Chambers! I'm in love! I am over-using exclamation points! And I don't care!

The sun has set on this self-indulgent series and I am a Sun. My new colors are purple and orange...wait, those are bad colors. And didn't they trade Kurt Thomas for nothing this off-season? Shawn Marion! I'm now pulling for Shawn Marion!

What have I done?

Frying Bacon on Rocky Top

I don't mean to state the obvious, but I'm going to write what every Vol fan is thinking right now:

What is the deal with this team?

Are they the group that was dominated by Florida, Alabama and in the 2nd half against South Carolina or are they the group that dominated Georgia, Arkansas and the 1st half against South Carolina?

I really don't know.

Yesterday I couldn't have felt more confident from the opening moments that the Vols were going to spank the Razorbacks. The game had that feel...I can't explain it other than saying there is no doubt we are going to play well. The offense moved the ball, the defense was zoned in and the opposing coach was lost about what to do about it (going on 4th down in your own territory, Houston? That was Nutty...).

With this team, it takes about five minutes to decide if they are going to win or lose. It is like the opening minutes of a sitcom that either hook you in or convince you to click to something else. The Vols either look spectacular or totally uninspired.

How does that happen?

I know it isn't easy to get up for every single game, but coming out flat against Florida and Alabama is darn near unforgivable. What was it about Georgia and Arkansas that had the boys so ready to play?

Here is what I'm hoping - Neyland Stadium is becoming a real home-field advantage again. There were a few years there when the Vols seemed to play worse at home, but the Big Orange have been fantastic at home this year. Have you watched Georgia the past few weeks absolutely steamroll both Florida and Auburn? The Vols dominated the Dawgs at home this year. How do you explain it?

The bad news is that the Vols are going to have to go to Kentucky to seal the SEC deal this year. The Cats, thanks to Navy's win over Notre Dame, now own the distinction of having lost to the Vols more times in a row than any other team has currently lost to another. They are going to want to end that this year with what it easily the best UK squad in recent memory.

The question is which Vol team will show up in Lexington for that contest? Heck, which team will show up next week to face the Commodores?

This season, who knows?

Response to Bill Simmons

You make your bed - now you have to lie in it.

Apparently Bill Simmons did not enjoy the Patriots dramatic win in Indianapolis last Sunday. The referees seemed to have an agenda to stop the New England juggernaut - making up calls, missing others and sometimes just plain screwing the poor Patriots with ridiculous ones. Patriot Nation was in a collective uproar over this travesty of justice.

On behalf of the rest of the world: Boo-flipping-hoo.

I enjoy the Sports Guy as much as anyone outside of Boston possibly can. He is endlessly entertaining and always funny. For most of us non-athlete/non-journalist sports writers, he is an inspiration.

But does he really think anyone is going to feel sympathy for Bill Belichick's Patriots?

New England's fan base has now collectively cleansed itself from Spygate by deciding that everyone is out to get them. Their Super Bowl victories have been questioned, their honesty has been doubted and their sportsmanship has been debated. Now, even the NFL referees are out to get them.

Come on. This is the NFL, not the NBA. Bad referees are not biased ones. Simmons' article read like a vitriolic message board posting from BigBlue4Life_99 after a Michigan loss.

The implication of the article is that the Patriots are getting cheated. Do you know whose fault that is? Yes, the Patriots.

You make your bed...

As a school teacher, I do occasionally catch a cheater who either has shifty test-taking eyes or plagiarizes a paper. I do accuse them of cheating. I do seek some type of punishment from the school. I do watch them more closely with future tests and projects.

You make your bed...

Do I actively seek to fail that student over the rest of the year? Do I ignore correct answers and find fault with the smallest error? Or do I do my job? The one that puts food on my table? The one that I trained for and hope to continue to do for many more years?

If that student feels like I am now out to get them, it is only because he/she created the circumstances that would cause such paranoia. For Patriot fans who are entering into JFK conspiracy waters after a few bad calls, you only have your own head coach to blame for this misguided paranoia.

It might be a bitter pill for Pats fans to swallow, but there is no getting around the Spygate thing. It tarnishes the past under Belichick and it tarnishes this team. This was not an accusation - it was cheating caught in the act. There is no basis to the "everyone is out to get us" motivational tool. Nobody is buying the "Mangini is a snitch" deflection. Running up the score on people like Joe Gibbs certainly does not make anyone re-evaluate criticism of the franchise. Nobody likes a cheater - ask Barry Bonds or Mark McGwire or Floyd Landis or Tim Donaghy. Bill Belichick is a cheater. Nobody likes it.

Now Patriot fans like Bill Simmons want to cry foul about a few questionable flags? You want us to believe that the NFL or some rogue referees have it out for Belichick's boys? You want us to believe that a billion dollar industry would risk its reputation to teach the Pats a lesson?

I know it isn't easy to be a Boston sports fan right now - how much joy can one person take? The Red Sox, the Celtics, even Boston College is good this year. For a city so used to being frustrated with its sports teams, these are uncharted waters. Heck, these are uncharted waters for any city. That doesn't mean, however, that people are out to get you.

If you think they are, you really just have yourselves to blame.